Ramblings of a wild-woman

11:11 -make a wish.  I wish there were more hours to the day, or that I required less sleep.

Just thinking about the next two weeks makes me tired.  I love that I have so much going on, but I think I might completely crash after these two weeks.  Classes are starting, plus Old St George work, I'll be busy 5 nights a week until 8 or 9pm.  I want to make it to the upcoming SCA events- I've never been to a coronation.  AND I have to pack for moving.  I'm happy to be moving, but with only two weeks notice and everything else that's going on, I'm a bit pissed at my roommate for springing this on me.  I just started making progress on my armor.  Though, after I move this time it very likely that I won't be moving again for two years.  I am relieved about that.  I'm sick of moving.  I really hope this next location works out.  I'd really like to have one place to be for at least two years, if not more. I would love it to be more if I continue with school.  Hell, even if I don't continue school immediately, if I get along well at Jen and Richard's I'd be happy to stay as long as they'll have me.

It's time to rest up for my 13 hour day tomorrow (not including packing and any homework).

I don't quite fit the rest of the lyrics to that song, but this song better expresses my love of rain:
I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin',
Singin' in the rain


I don't understand why the majority of people don't like rain (or at least that's what people think the majority is).  It might come from being a gardener since I was 5, but I see rain as wonderful, refreshing and nourishing.  Water makes things grow.  Sun is great (I love the sun very much), but we need water to live as well.  Otherwise, we'd all shrivel up... like those people who tan too much and end up with skin that looks like cow hide or with wrinkles that make them look 70 at 50.  We all use water to escape heat, so why do we hate it when it falls from the sky.  Because we can't control it?  It's not exactly when we want and don't want it?  I won't go into the issues of the human race needing to control everything.  I love the rain- cool or warm, clean and refreshing, the relaxing sound of it beating down on the roof.  Sometimes it's windy and exciting.  Sometimes it's calming.  Any way, it makes the flowers grow.

Depression, I can always count on you.  You are my best friend.  You are always there for me to remind that I might never be thinner, I will never be prettier, I might never be more motivated, I might never get control of my impulse disorder, I might fail, and I might never find that one person who just gets me.

Time for a glass of wine.

One of the reasons I love my last psychologist so much is that he let me know what direction we were heading, where he wanted me to be by the time I left.  He told me the plan and the steps to the plan. 

Now, I have my own direction.  For once, I know my plan and the steps to my plan.  I know the direction and where I'm going to be at any point in the next two years.  I know my financial standing and what it's going to be in two years.  It's not as bad as I originally thought it would be.  Classes are going well.  I'm so damn good at math.  My dad is proud of me.  Though he doesn't say it, I hear it in his voice- something you have to pick up when you're dad doesn't say much (thank god I finally learned how).

Anyways, I'm so f***ing happy, I can't stop laughing.  My roommate thinks I'm high.

Direction is a good thing.  ...So is money

So, I woke up at 7 and got ready for school.  I was a little behind (not late yet) when I ran out to my car.  It was covered in ice that was a PITA to get off.  I finally got pissed and came back inside.  I checked the school's site- school was closed until noon!  That totally made my day.  I hate my Tuesday/Thursday class.  My professor has only one volume- loud.  And we're in a small room.  I had a headache Thursday that started when class started and ended shortly after class ended.  Today, I slept from 9:30am to noon.

I so happy.

Not enough sex.

Like the ones who somehow manage to indirectly insult you every time you speak to them and they know they're doing it.  Then they insist they're your friend.  Apparently, I'm stupid because I have a bouncy personality when I'm having a good time.  So, does that mean bitchy, rude, tactless pessimists are smart?  Because I've met plenty of idiots with those same qualities.

I want to go here for a weekend: http://www.coyotecreekfarmoh.com/home.html

With a good book (since I don't have a good man).

So, the SCA is great for many amazing reasons, but one of my favorites is the flirting.  Saturday was a night of unadulterated flirting.  I didn't realize this at the time, but the next day it hit me- flirting is great for mental health.  I am completely over my ex.  I realized this during lunch with him that day.  Up to that moment I knew I was slowly getting over him, but I still had a few bad evenings every once in a while.  Now, it's complete!  I am SO excited, it's ridiculous!  Happy to be single again!!!!!!!!!  Too bad certain men live out of town.  WTF.

So... Mom told me that Dad wanted me to come back home if all I'm going to do is go to a community college down here.  To save money and all.  Well, she made it sound like he was pissed I was staying down here to go to college and that he thought I was about to piss away shit tons more money than I already have.  I talked to Dad today.  I was totally wrong.  As soon as I made my arguments- told him I was going to pay for it all and that I had to do this for the pressure not to fail/quit- he was completely fine with it.  Then, I figured out some of the cost positives and negatives and it turns out co-oping will completely cover the cost of tuition.  Leaving only cost of living to worry about.  Unfortunately, that's about twice as expensive as tuition...  But it's still awesome!

I need a bathtub- classic and claw-foot, long and deep enough for two (two, of course, is not necessary), but not a funky shape (like the triangle ones, I hate those), and I don't have to share it with a smelly roommate.  I need oils and rose petals and candles.  Then I need a good massage with peppermint moisturizer.

So, I need a spa day.

...

I love this movie- French Kiss.  I'm Kate, and I'm finally realizing that I don't want him back.  He's not worth it.  One problem, I'm missing my Luc.  Maybe I should go to France.  I would love to go to France.  I would love to have a date, but first I need a good job.  Grr.

Who do you ask for advice from when the only person you want to ask is the only person you can't ask?

I'm a Daddy's girl.  Not the classic daddy's girl.  We had our low period, a very long low period.  For the beginning of my life he always knew exactly what to say and exactly what to do when I was down.  For those infamous teen years, he was clueless, only thinking numbers and consequences, never taking a more, well, emotional look at how I feel.  Since I left for college two years ago, he has slowly been improving.  He's going for his MBA now and is taking classes that he has to do social experiments for.  That's helping a lot.

I think he had a break through when he had to tell someone he loves "I love you," record their reaction, then ask them how they know he loves them.  He chose to do that one on me.  Well, I laughed at him.  We had just had an argument (a petty one).  I thought he was just trying to get me to stop be a crab.  Then we had an entire discussion about how I knew he loved me.  I think he was a little surprised when my answer was consisted of him constantly being on my case shows he cares and Mom tells me anything good he says about me to her.

He's gotten a lot better at watching his tone and being more supportive.  The great thing is that it's not supportive statements based on opinion, it's supportive statements based on fact, mostly.  Factual support is always so much more fulfilling.  I just have to make sure I relay what's going on with me in more objective words than subjective, then he can help.  And DAMN he knows just what to say!

Anyway, this whole entry came up because my dad saved me today.  Today was crap even though overall things were going well, I was just feeling like crap.  Mostly I was worried that he'd be angry that I had to dig into my saving to pay for rent this month (he's a penny pincher).  But I'm 99.9% sure I'll be employed by the end of the week.  So, he heard this and made the joke that he wouldn't make my interests rates on borrowing money too high.  Then he explained all the insurance stuff to me.  I understand insurance... who woulda thunk it?

I love my dad.

Who passed her impulse control check?!?  That would be me!

When life is fabulous, there's nothing to say but "it's fabulous!"  There's a lack of need to write in a journal.  I'm trying anyway, but what is there to say :-D J'adore la vie!  I have some job interviews.  I'm exploring the city's night life.  I'm enjoying life.  Speaking of which, I finally figured out what I want my tattoo to be- my deceased brother's initials, an excellent reminder to enjoy life.

I'm 20
I'm a dog person, although I love my roommate's cat
Okay, I'm an animal person- all animals from farm & home to jungle & grasslands
I'm a 5'7" -ish brunette with hazel eyes that appear more blue when I'm content and very green when I'm emotional
I'm mostly Irish with fabulous fair skin and freckles
I love freckles- last boyfriend was covered in them and damn they're sexy
I love learning, but I dislike school
I'm a green thumb
I speak French, but not fluently, and an itsy bit of Spanish
I am loyal to the end, unless clearly betrayed on purpose
I will believe the people I trust are telling the truth even if I detect something is not quite right ...and I am very gullible
I love green, board games, vivid colors, fuzzy rugs, crocheted blankets, candles, dog kisses, cuddling, smiles, kisses, canoeing, swimming, archery, cooking, and medieval times
I'm in love with love